Do you remember the scorpions, and the talking between my fictitious figures, which felt too lifelike to deny life to?
I swear I could make myself believe make-believe; and that human beings could be read and bleed.
When did the past end and present begin? Do we define the timeline by date, wound, or by scar?
When do past issues become scar tissue?
Do you remember when I said I'd had enough? How about when I suppressed my thoughts and held my tongue? Yes, to your face. I call that yesterday, too.
There's almost no point in talking things through, because the truth is: people get used to the silence and come to rely on it.
But regardless of what I think or say, I know what I remember. I know that it's just my perception, so it can never be taken as fact; I'm not naive enough to believe that I can’t be mistaken. And all that… yeah, it is what it is; there's no changing that. I've come to a painful arrangement with that. I don't make anymore statements about that. I just maintain at a barren wasteland with that, so I can pretend I'm great with that. Maybe I just do it for you so you can be okay with that. Maybe I'm okay with that, too.
So tell me when you have a moment, which I already know will never come, when do the scars from the past numb?
I don't want to hear the endless sea of advice. I'm fine. I don't need you to wash over me, my pain is mine.
I'm not going to beg for anyone to save me, save me.
I'm not going to let myself be pathetic and selfish. But, I will say: as much as you don't owe me a thing, I owe you less. Nobody, including you, ever took notice, so I forged ahead. I didn't let what anyone said affect my step, or cause me to misstep. So after all that… if you've found happiness, and happily ever afters, then, I wish you success. I think I'll hang out in regret, of what could have been, a little longer. Nevertheless, I just wanted to remind you that we don't owe each other any more, or any less.